www.myspace.com/maggot1584

My head just exploded. She is officially gone.

I thought I would be happy for her, maybe I will be in due time. As of right now, ouch,

So I pretty much lost my brother the other day. If you look a few entry's back, you will see we were having problems. A few nights ago, we got into this huge arguement and i ended up saying something along the lines of, "You are dead to me, don't come to me for anything, I will never be there for you." IBefore I said that to him, I had ried to call it truths with him like two or three times, so I finally just gave up and told him that.

Other than that, Sometimes I wish I didin't have so much self control. I really want to do something, but I cant let myself, I know it is wrong, but I want to SO BAD.It suckssssss.

Today my stepdad called me and asked if I wanted a job on November 4th working a regester at the poles, and make like a hundred dollars, sounds cool, he asked because it would be boring, and we could keep eachother company. I accepted.

Well, I'm going to go now. bye.

Someone told me they wanted their ex back. I thought I would be okay with it, and I am, but it hit me alot harder than I thought it would. She told me In the car, and as corny as it sounds, I had to look away. I got a quivering lip. It just sucked to hear it. I will still back her 100%, it just hit harder than I though it would. I still love her. =/

The next tattoo I'm going to get. I thought I was going to get the SDMF but I looked at it, and I didn't like it.

But here is the other one.

It will be everything from this except the words and the jar and eyeballs.



And from this one, I'm going to take the heart and words on the bottom and put them on the above image.
the heart will go where the jar and eyeballs are, and the words will go under the image. and instead of "the heartbead continues" it will be "his heartbeat continues" its a memorial tattoo to my grandpa.


after all that, the car is going to be red not yellow.
I like the idea, what do you think?

Things have been okay I guess. Some things, you could say, have come to a close. This girl I have liked and even loved for some time now is I guess you could say, pursuing other things. Surprisingly I am alright with it, I just like seeing her happy again. I hope her and I stay close friends, I will always be there for her no matter what. I will be her shoulder to to cry on, I will always be someone to talk to, vent, if you will. I guess I am trying to say, I will always be her support system no matter what she decides to do. This person asked me a question tonight, "do you like her again?" Meaning my ex, at the time I didn't think so, but upon more thought, I guess you could say I am starting to. Don't mistake that for, "I'm going to get back with her, " but who knows, anything could happen right?

Besides that I spent the last three hours playing my guitar, I didn't realize how much I have missed it. Two of thoes three hours I spent learning the song, Welcome Home(Sanitarium) by Metallica.

In other news, I have started with an old habit again, smoking. I regret to say I am back up to about a pack a day(ew). Anyway, I guess thats it for now.